Spontaneous Scribbles: In Which Atara Accidentally Becomes a Porn Star... or an ASMRtist... we're not really sure which

So I had this dog, Phoebe (she's with Jesus, now).

Phoebe by artist Betsy Marsch

She was super loving and affectionate with people and one day about 4 or so months ago I let her take a nap with me on the couch. She decided instead of naps that I needed every pibble kiss. I thought this was cute, so I filmed it. Pretty much just to show my husband later. This is really starting off tantalizing, isn't it? With the whole--this has to do with my dead dog thing. Just wait; it gets better.
Since I was in a compromised position, I of course started the filming vertically, and eventually moved it to horizontally. It's a terribly-shot video, is what I'm saying, here. The lighting is bad, I look like shit, and NOTHING HAPPENS. Phoebe gives me lots of gross kisses (this dog ate any poop she could find unless I found it first--she would even try to eat her sister-dog Lucy's poop WHILE LUCY WAS STILL POOPING), she goes to look out the window, she comes back, I tell her she's a very ferocious pit bull. The end. I'm fully clothed AND under a blanket.

I basically looked like this.

I don't even remember why I uploaded it to YouTube. I probably forgot that Google Drive was a thing, and it's not like people haunt my youtube channel. I think I hoped I could edit it later to show how cute Phoebe was being and nobody would ever know I'd shot any impromptu video vertically.
I guess I forgot to ever actually edit it, and I pretty much forgot about the video entirely. So then randomly a couple weeks ago I got a notification from YouTube that my video was getting some action (ha ha, see what I did there) that I wasn't expecting. I go to see what's going on and my video has ALMOST 30,000 VIEWS.

I mean, my highest viewed video at the time was the memorial one my hubsand made for his dead brother, and there were only like 230+ views. Plus there were personal feels attached to that and support from family and looots of friends bringing in those views. Also, it is a great video (shoutout to da hubsand's mad skillz).

Hubsand said my video probably got picked up on a website somewhere with more visibility, but for the life of him, he couldn't track down how or where in the inner workings of the interwebs. Great, I thought. Why couldn't they pick up one of my cute videos? Like Daddy's Little Helper, or a funny one, like hubsand reading aloud some of my more awkward vet tech notes. Or, God forbid, something actually beautiful, like aforementioned artist Betsy Marsch creating art in real time with a musician?!? But no.

So then I was immediately suspicious that my fame was of an unfortunate nature and thought some people were mightily confused, and just clicking and moving on when they realized I wasn't providing what they were actually looking for. So I went hunting to see what constitutes a "view" to YouTube. It looks like somebody has to stick with the video for at least 10 seconds, and probably more like 30 seconds to be counted as a "view." Source.
So no, I was wrong. People were sticking with my gawdawful quality video past the 30 second mark. This was srs biznes to them. I sort of decided at that point to pretend it wasn't happening. I figured it'd go away.

So no-one told you life was gonna be this way...

Then I suddenly couldn't ignore it any more because I started getting comments (most of which weren't in English, and I don't put a lot of faith in Google translate since the time I gave it a few Japanese tests it failed miserably), and somehow over 500 people had subscribed to me, and my craptacular video magically had almost 400,000 views.

I started mentioning this to some friends. Among the comments I received are the following:
1. *hysterical laughter*
2. *jokes*
3. "It's kind of an uncomfortable video to watch." Uh, yes, I know, it's terrible. You weren't supposed to see it until it was edited.
4. "Wtf? it's just your dog being affectionate! People need to get a life or GTFO."
5. Or, most interestingly, one person who suggested [wholesomely] that it falls under ASMR--Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response. Basically, you get chills (like, a nice head scratch chills) from hearing certain sounds or watching somebody do a detailed job of something (I think I might get it when I watch a friend sketch). Wikipedia has some things to say about it, as does Cracked.

I have no idea what's going on, but ASMR videos sometimes looks sketch to people who are culturally conditioned to think whispering + women always equals sex, and I'm curious to see how many views I can get out of this, so I'm going to leave the video public for now. Hubsand jokingly suggests monetizing my new-found skill.
As of 3:55pm EST I have 781 subscribers and my video has 451,575 views.

It is now 4:01pm EST and I have 452,967 views. Will the madness ever end?

EDIT: due to running some of the comments through Google anyways and determining they're basically all porn-related, I am totally skeezed out and am making my video private. But hey, I described it up top for you with all the juicy details, and here are a couple selfies of Lucy and I basically re-enacting a scene from it. Try to keep it in your pants, everybody.