Khan-Rex

I have weird dreams. I was going to link you to my old xanga site where I posted all my weird dreams so you could peruse them at your leisure, but apparently xanga deleted it. Years of insight into my brain: gone.
I'm really kind of sad about that. In contrast, for funsies I googled my old Lord of the Rings fandom handle to see what is still on the internet from my elven days of yore. Sadly, an entire thread of me introducing myself on a forum is still accessible. Let's just say I hope to heaven that gets deleted soon--I couldn't even make it through a whole paragraph of what I wrote ten or so years ago without great shame and a desire to disappear.
I was an idiot. And that's being generous.

So I suppose this is all you'll get to read of my dreams today.

Last night I was a lead scientist on Jurassic-Park style endeavours.

Sadly, Jeff Goldblum did not make an appearance.

We succeeded (the science of it is a little fuzzy in the light of day), and ended up with some pretty rad dinosaurs. They were smaller versions of all our favourites, and of course we chose to only create the predators. Because look how well that's turned out before.

We were planning for them to basically be living theropod amusement rides; a few splashes of danger on all the business ends of our new friends, but they're miniature so it's nothing some good, strong leather tack and determination can't handle, right? Wrong.

We had some grand runs with our new transports around my parents' orchard, but as the dream progressed it became more obvious that not only had we managed to resurrect predators with their normal cleverness, ours had somehow been endued with an extra dash of something that meant they learned very quickly and could, you know, talk. It swiftly became apparent that their intelligence rivaled ours and all that stood between them and world domination was knowledge and opposable thumbs. What began as a reptile joyride ended in a cold war. We couldn't dominate them mentally into subservience, and to stay alive we had to keep acting as if we were on friendly terms, helping them learn while we shared frantic whispered plans between ourselves to try to find a leg up. We had basically become hostages to the dinosaurs and it was only a matter of time before they figured that out for themselves.

A good portion of the dream was taken up with this stage. During this time a personality emerged amongst our theropod captors--a Tyrannosaurus with the intelligence, charisma, and evil of Khan Noonien Singh.

You'd be taken in, too--admit it. 

The point still stands.

Now this is going to get weird.

First, all the other dinosaurs seemed to sort of drift out of my consciousness in the dream, this new character was so pronounced; so overwhelming. I didn't notice any of the others anymore. 

Second, some portion of you reading will sympathize with this, and some portion will think I'm either weird or perverted (or both), but bear with me... this Tyrannasaurus was stupid attractive. As in, I had a mongo crush on him during this dream. He was evil, sure. But evil never looked so good. 

For that portion of you I promised would get this, let me explain thusly: he was the dinosaur version of Simba from Disney's Lion King. Okay, now some of you get it, and the rest still think I'm crazy. But there is precedent for this. Just try googling "simba weirdly attractive" and you will get 684,000 hits. That is kind of a lot of people who have struggled with inner confusion over this issue whilst watching The Lion King.

Angst!

Please see this post from a random denizen of the internet if you don't believe me. I think she summed it up well (and also proves even if I'm crazy, at least I'm not alone):

"I find the lion Simba physically attractive. And I recognize that that is weird. But I know I’m not the only one! And Mufasa? Totally a GLD (Good Looking Dad). The part when he’s climbing up the cliff out of the wildebeest stampede? He is totally yolked in that scene. Like I wanted to touch his biceps. . . . of course Disney is going to make everyone attractive, but what really weirded me out tonight was that I was really into Simba. I feel like someone put a lot of thought into how that lion should look to make us care about him. You could just see what he would look like as a human, and he would be a hottie. Longish, wavy hair, strong jawline, deep brown eyes, tan, tall, wide shoulders."

So anyhow, Khan-rex (as I will affectionately call him from here on out) and I had a thing going. Well, to be accurate... in his mind I was just the only person close to being his mental equal, so as an adversary I wasn't too bad, and there was some interest from his side, but mostly it was me totally crushing on him and his brains. His appearance fluctuated during the dream. Sometimes he was full-on T-Rex, sometimes he was more anthropomorphized and started looking like a cross between a tall, long-haired football-playing Grover I've seen around, Garrett, and the theropod we all recognize as a T-Rex. But he was brilliant and charismatic and terrifying. He asked questions as if I was his superior, and we discussed things as if I was his equal. All the while I was half in love with him. At some point we were both looking out a window and talking and I turned to him and flat-out said "you are very handsome." He made no return. He'd heard, but it didn't matter at all to him. His mind was already on his next move. He was quiet another minute and then he requested clothes so he could blend in, and he left to roam Pittsburgh--presumably to map it and create his plan of attack for world domination.

While Khan-rex was out roaming me and the rest of my team of scientists were still basically being held hostage by the other dinosaurs. The whole while both sides were still pretending we were friendly. Then someone would just be dead. It was terrifying.

Somehow I snuck out, stole a car, and tried to get help a few times in Pittsburgh, but my forays were useless and I had to return. Some number of months later Khan-rex returned, more powerful, and with a suit of red battle armour (for this return he was 100% Tyrannasaurus). He prowled around, roared, killed some people, and then left to take over the world.

Years passed. We tried to create and join various resistences. But somehow Khan-rex had taken the entire human population and either beaten them to submission (as in our case) or brainwashed them into serving and basically worshipping him. The only people who held out were the Swiss. They and Khan-rex carried on a continuous battle with each other--neither gaining ground. I remember my perspective suddenly changing, though, and watching, third-person, as some brainwashed people got shoved into drones (not to pilot them... for some reason they would only fly if a live human being were inside), and then sent into the battles. The drones were light grey-coloured metal pill-shaped things that flew with tiny pairs of white, feathered cupid wings. But once up in the air the people inside forgot the brainwashing, realized what was happening, and begged the opposing forces to shoot them down. It was supposed to be some emotional scene in my dream that I got to witness this.

This came up in a Google image search for "depressing art". 

Appropriate.

Finally there was some headway. I worked it out so I stole a large truck from the outside world and the plan was for me to drive it back into our science research compound we'd been trapped in for years, pretend to be delivering the laundry for the inmates, and sneak my team of scientists out. But of course we were guarded. The outside of our compound already looked like Helm's Deep, but now the added guard station was set up to look like a gas station and it was manned by overweight, lecherous, brainwashed white trash guards. Khan-rex, having essentially taken over the world, didn't bother to visit anymore, so my crush was vastly out-performed by my anger and Desire To Save the World.

I had to flirt with one of the guards, but I got the truck into the compound, and began loading up my skinny, ragged, and exhausted scientists.  

And then I woke up and had to go to work. 

Well played, Sir.